Diary of a Tantra Massage

An actual account from a woman’s perspective.


For most of our lives, women serve as the caretakers in our society. We give birth to, and raise our children. We care for the men in our lives, providing a home that nurtures the soul. For many of us, we are the primary caretakers of the bedroom as well. We find ourselves focused primarily on pleasuring our men, rarely giving a thought to our own needs. Of course our men do please us, but it is usually part of a ritual that is in response to our pleasuring them first. Recently however, after reading about Tantra massage, I decided that it was time to take a moment to focus purely on my own special needs.

At its highest form, Tantra Massage is an extraordinarily intimate encounter. To view it otherwise is to diminish its value. This is the story of my first experience with Tantra. It will hopefully not be the last. I began this journey by looking for a partner who would help me to explore more deeply who I was, both as a woman and as a sensual spiritual being. I found my tantric "guide",  in White Lotus East, after a great deal of Internet research. A series of sensitive e-mail communications, ultimately gave me the confidence to make an appointment. Our electronic dialog made me feel that "my guide's" approach would be clear and loving, with a keen awareness of my physical, emotional and sexual needs. I would not be disappointed by my initial judgment.


My own personal preparation began more than a week prior to our arranged meeting. Feeling both hopeful and confident about my guide's approach to Tantra Massage, I had every expectation that I would be in good hands. My guide would focus on creating an experience, during which my sensuality would be fully and completely explored. It was clear that we would begin slowly, allowing for this experience to unfold gradually and naturally. We would not be rushed. I was told to expect the session to last from two to three hours.

A few days prior to our meeting, I began a process of conscious preparation. I wanted my body to be as receptive as possible. I took steps to make myself more available, lathering myself with more lotion and body oil than usual, so as to soften my skin. I waxed my pubic and labial area, in order to more visually expose my clitoris, making it more accessible to touch. I performed increased my sessions of Kegel exercises to prepare my vaginal area for stimulation. I also began to fantasize about the session, only later fully realizing that this “visualization exercise” would be an important tool in allowing me to relax into the experience.

The Appointment

I arrived right on time and although will confess to some nervousness, my momentary anxiety was abated when the door opened to reveal my guide’s open arms and welcoming smile. We began our meeting with wine and conversation. Taking the edge off with about 15 minutes of initial “getting to know you” pleasantries, before the subject actually drifted toward my purpose in being there. Again I was given the opportunity to express the nature of my interest and expectations. Satisfied that I had made the right decision, I accepted my guide's offer to tour WLE’s exquisite space.

The Bath Ceremony

My full modesty was preserved as I donned a beautiful robe and slippers before heading toward the bubble bath, brimming with rose petals. My guide took my robe from me, glancing away in a sign of respect for my privacy, as I stepped into bath. We chatted casually as my guide relaxed my body, rubbing my feet, my legs and my inner thigh. Occasionally, my guide's hand would drift tantalizingly near my mound, but only casually and very simply. I sat in awe as my guide easily and effortlessly played with my body, brushing bubbles over my breasts and cupping them gently.

We did not stay in the bath as long as I might have desired, as my guide was concerned not to over saturate my skin with water, lessening the pleasure of the massage to follow. In my robe again, we moved to the massage studio, where I was invited to lie face down upon the table, resting my head on a fresh towel and firm pillow. Having already removed my robe, my modesty was now partially protected by a towel running lengthwise across my midsection.

The Massage

Beginning at my shoulders, my guide applied lavish quantities of oil upon my body. My guide's hands then rubbed along my back, sides and up toward the sides of my breasts. With my hands extended over my head, I found myself anticipating more. Soon, I found myself crying silently for more. How rich an experience it was to realize all that I needed was to relax and enjoy the ecstasy of this exquisite touch.

Eventually it became time to remove the solitary towel, my body now crying out for exploration. As if reading my mind my guide's well-oiled hands began to stroke along my buttocks; exploring up and down the crease; moving from my labia to my rosebud. Occasionally my guide would grasp my labial lips, holding them for a prolonged moment. This was an extremely sensual experience and I found myself reflexively arching my back to allow better access to my clit. I was left breathless and in ecstasy, a word I find myself repeating over and over again to describe this experience.

By now, my guide's  fingers had made it to most of the intimate parts of my body. Simultaneously massaging my clitoris, one finger firmly atop my rosebud, with another inserted into my Yoni. Soon, I was “riding the wave” of back-to-back orgasms.  Knowing that I was completely in my guide's hands, literally and figuratively, allowing full access to wherever these intuitive and talented fingers were being guided.  Amazingly, at that moment, I did not hesitate or feel reluctant for all of my body to be explored. My entire body now writhed and quivered uncontrollably as my buttocks thrust in the air, over and over again. I had relinquished control, and it was wonderful.


Just as I thought that there was no more to be done, I was given the opportunity to rest. Having caught my breath, my guide helped me to roll over and onto my back. Then, just as before, a towel was placed across my midsection. At this point, with little inhibition, I secretly hoped that it would soon be removed. I now found it difficult to restrain myself, in anticipation of again being complete nude and unencumbered.

Mercifully, I would not have to wait for long, as my guide began to massage my breasts, then my inner thigh. Removing the towel now exposed my smooth and freshly waxed private area. Including my swollen clitoris, which now presented itself for attention. And it did receive attention, as did my labia, Yoni and “rosebud”. My Goddess Spot was explored as I quivered over and over again. My release felt endless as my guide and I came together to understand my body. It was stunning to know that after 40 years on this planet so much could be revealed to me about the inner workings of my physical being.

I was exhausted and invigorated all at the same time. I would sleep well that night, awaking the following morning with a feeling of clarity and creativity that can only be found when the body and mind and truly cleansed.

Re-living my experience

During the days, which followed, I found myself looking back on that afternoon with a sense of memory that would previously have been unimaginable. Simply recalling the moment would produce orgasmic quivers! Tantra Massage provides a vehicle for addressing the total needs of the female body, it has it’s own rhythm and purpose. The experience has opened my eyes and my body to a new level of being and I will forever be changed by the experience.