The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is
Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light."
In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and
honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage
although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect.
The goal is to massage
the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot
(prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be
accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the
Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional
sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam
Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and
experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.
Beginning the Massage
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under
his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with
a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly
bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals
clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed
breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to
get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink
deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the
Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to
not cause pain in this sensitive area.
Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to
relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the
perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam.
Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with
your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take
your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction
by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down
and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are
using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there
are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of
the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam
massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform
this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably
find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a
highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down.
Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate,
back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the
massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing
off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself.
Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to
ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here
and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow
you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without
losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that
you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.
The Sacred Spot
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger
midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel
the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened,
he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can
massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with
your left hand.
Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access
to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment.
You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.
Ending the Massage
When he feels complete (with the massage), gently
remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to
rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.