sensuous, total body expression, much of woman to woman ("w/w") sexuality might
be labeled tantric or contemplative sex. In w/w lovemaking, the assumed
roles are easily interchangeable. Orgasm isn't
always the goal. The experience is one of being totally connected, awake, and
alive in this state of vibrant, loving, erotic energy.
sacred sexuality is one step on a long journey of unfolding the
Sacred in women's lives. Erotic love between women can be a celebration of,
and an initiation into the female creative spirit, the feminine mysteries.
Female lovers hold the form of feminine power at its most profound. With each
act of loving they can embrace a deep inner space and explore the possibility
of returning to their original perfection. W/w sacred sexual love has the
potential to awaken and reunite a woman with her divine source being. Whether
or not she has a sexual partner or not, depends on many factors, including her
particular circumstance, karma and purpose in life. Sex is sex. It is
not the partner's gender that makes sex sacred. It is the consciousness that
women bring to their sexual acts that makes them sacred, whether they are
making love to themselves or with a partner. W/w love is sacred when it is
visionary, interconnected and transformational. Through the power of love
women come to know themselves as both mothers (creators of their lives) and as daughters
(caretakers of the Earth). Women's lives and work can become expressions of this wisdom and power.
Rarely do books, from translations of ancient
texts to modern sex manuals, speak of sex between same-sex partners as sacred.
Whether referring to Hindu tantric practices or Chinese sexual yoga, most of
the techniques described are directed toward heterosexual couples. Women are
told that the man holds the yang and the woman the yin, and through their sexual
union, the energy is balanced. Yet each, woman or man, contains both yin and the
yang energy. These are the rivers of life that spiral upward
through the spine. It is not necessary to have sexual union with the opposite
sex to balance us. The wholeness that is spoken of in all spiritual traditions
is the openness of the heart. It is finding the balance of sacred life energy
within each human being. For this balance to be possible we must first love
and accept ourselves. In finding this balance we move beyond our personal
boundaries to a communion with all life.
Females often have an easier time than men in
recognizing the connection between their bodies, the body of the planet and
the body of the universe. A woman's moon cycles give her the most direct experience of the ebb and flow of life.
Women have more freedom in changing roles and experiencing a wider range of behavior and feelings.
A women's lovemaking is not focused on one single act, instead her sexuality can be sacred,
playful, lustful, serious, humorous, joyful, tender, angry, or anxious. Female
sexual communion becomes tantric when it serves as initiation to the "body" of
the universe. Sexual acts become acts of worship when each partner
experiences herself and the other as Goddess/Divine.
purpose of this exercise is a loving, sensuous exchange of energy. It is not
necessary to do the exercise in a seated position. Nor is it necessary to
physically gaze into each other's eyes. Please feel free to adapt this
exercise to physical abilities and desires. For example the lovers could be
lying side by side mentally envisioning the energy exchange.
- Sit naked, back to back. Take time to ground
yourself by breathing deeply. You may want to imagine the base of your spine
like a giant root extending deep into the heart of the Earth. Imagine
breathing energy from the earth up along your spine. When you feel grounded,
allow that image to dissolve and without losing your grounding become
sensitive to the sensation of your back touching your lover's back.
- Lover "one" imagines breathing the energy drawn
from the base of her lover's spine up along her own spine and exhales the
energy out the top of her crown chakra. She continues breathing in this
- Lover "two" imagines receiving her partner's energy
through her crown chakra like a waterfall, and allows the energy to descend
down her spine. She exhales the energy through the base of her spine. She
continues breathing in this manner.
- The lovers continue to sit back to back breathing
the energy from one to the other and feeling the circle of energy. Now the
lovers may want to imagine sending colors through their spines. Continue to
breathe colors and be aware of the sensations and feelings that arise during
- Without losing the sense of this circle of energy,
the lovers slowly turn to face one another. With eyes open and soft,
continue to sense one another's energy. It is not necessary to try to
maintain the visualization. Simply be aware of your breath and keep your
eyes focused on your lover's eyes. Be open to any feelings, emotional or
sexual, that arise. Keep softening and opening to the gaze of your lover.
Allow yourself to see and to be seen. Be sensitive to any energy changes.
You may want to increase contact with touching, kissing, and lovemaking.
Move slowly and keep eye contact as much as possible. You may choose to
complete the exercise without increased contact. Slowly move apart from each
other, while maintaining eye contact. Take a deep breath, close your eyes,
and imagine your roots deep into the Earth. When you are ready, open your
Lovemaking as Worship
You may have experiences in lovemaking where you will
lose all sense of yourself or your lover. Your lover becomes a Goddess
or the Buddha Tara, and you her devotee. Your love for her is the ultimate act
of surrender, of opening into the universe. You reach out to the world. You
come naked with the dearest thing you have to offer, your body, yourself, and
you offer it to your beloved. In this union you are united not with yourself
alone but with the body of the universe. Lovemaking becomes an act of
You can play with your breath during lovemaking.
Breathe slow and steadily, resisting your body's urge to quicken. The slow,
steady, deep breathing coupled with intense and pleasurable sensations creates
a tremendous expansion. You will become open to vast reservoirs of energy
within yourself and your lover. The transformation of energy is tangible. You
will open up into the universe and there is no gap or separation between
yourself and the universe. It is one seamless, shimmering net of life. It is